Better Late Than Never

I hate snow.

I'm sorely tempted just to leave it there, but I really couldn't do that to you. The fact remains, however.

Anyway, I was thinking about what I wanted to post here today while I was doing my usual internal rants (And yes, I am quite capable of thinking about several things simultaneously. Or, as a scientist would tell you, jumping from subject to subject so quickly, it seems simultaneous). Before MySpace died, I used to post my rants up on my little "blog" there. Sometimes they dragged on quite a bit. From 5-13 pages on some occasions. But those posts were of a rather personal nature --  angsty outbursts and the like. So unless I write a particularly artistic feeling one (which can happen), you will probably be spared those.

Too bad, too. I impressed even myself with the logic of my arguments in today's little episode. In the end it was decided that I was most likely in actual love with my grade school crush. The evidence, really, is staggering, but you'll have to take my word for it. How and why would I have been picking at that? My line of logic would probably give you an aneurysm, so I'll spare you that explanation as well.

After the Great Shift to Facebook (Or should I say, return? Because, as a college student, Facebook was actually first), I sort of lost my outlet. Things were a little rocky in my head at that time as well, and I clung to my little journal-like-thing to the very last. It was also about that time my brain started producing coherent streams of fiction instead of dreams. I've always had the craziest, most vivid and colorful dreams, but they were usually things like Mission Impossible meets Little House on the Prairie or saving a busload of students who were somehow lost in a rainforest. Then there's my personal favorite: getting so lost at school that I never actually find any of my classes, and before I know it, it's Prom/Graduation and I never made it past Day One. (This one continued until I was well out of high school. Doesn't take a psych major to interpret it either.)

But suddenly, I was dreaming that I could fly -- but for very logical reasons. I was at a soccer game and the field crumbled from underneath us. I was climbing a tree and looking into a bedroom through glass walls. I'd been hurt and some guy had donated his blood to me in a futile attempt to win my affections... which I knew would be a permanent decision. He even used the line "There's part of me inside of you" rather suggestively in my mind, which I couldn't help but laugh at once I woke up. All of you have that have read Untouchable should recognize these things. There were several other things that came directly from my dreams, and I was quite determined that they should all make it into my book, my masterpiece.

I realize now that I was wrong. So much of what I put into that book needs to be taken right back out again. The dreams were great for inspiration, but not all of it pertained to my story. I also threw in a few things from my real life, real stories and tastes from my own personal past. Another huge mistake. I spent three years writing it off and on (mostly off), and spent a whole hell of a lot of that time trying to squeeze things in that I just "had" to have in there. It needs to go. Everything that makes Elizabeth into me needs to go, along with everything that didn't flow naturally into the plot the way it should have. Stubbornly gluing in scenes because you're proud of them does not make for good storytelling.

Also, I used way too many adverbs. I blame fan fiction for that. Novices shouldn't learn from each other, it makes for rough going. At least 75% of things that end in -ly could and should probably be expressed in better ways. As far as my word choices... I plead ignorance on that one. Who knew that the most preferable way to say someone said something is simply using the word "said"? I specifically remember there being posters in grade school of all the different words you could use to spice up your paper. Whispered, sighed, yelled, whined, teased... I remember them telling me to use them. Then I get into the real world, and I want to be a real writer. I use all those words and then some.

Do you realize that I only used "said" three times in my entire novel? And I was actually proud of that fact? And most of them were actually paired with adverbs. "Whispered quietly." "Angrily yelled." "Sighed dejectedly." Then I go online and I read these articles... "It's distracting." "It's telling instead of showing." "If you have to spell it out, you're doing it wrong." At first I rebelled against these people who are so much smarter than I. How dare they tell me I'm not great at what I do? But... They're right. I'm wrong. Better take a screen shot, cause you may never see those words from me again. (Twice in one posting, no less.)

And another thing, don't you remember being told that "and" takes the place of a comma in a list? Because I do. Granted, I could be mistaken, but I've seen other people do it too. I could swear I learned it like this: "I like apples, oranges and bananas." not "I like apples, oranges, and bananas." The last comma registers with me as redundant because of something I'm 95% sure I learned in the 5th grade. I feel like I've been lied to. Why, Mr. McCreary? Why? Nah... he was the best. Introduced us to Barry Manilow and "The Boss". Can't get mad at that.

What was my point again? Did I even have one? Probably not. But that, children, marks the end of our program. If you had ever wondered what happened to Untouchable, you now have your answer. I peddled it out for a couple of months to no less than 50 agents, and after only 2 positive responses to my query and sample pages, I was forced to re-evaluate.. and all of that (see above) is what I came up with. It has to be dismantled and rebuilt completely (especially the first fifty pages where most of the transgressions lie. Besides, that section is still boring!)

When the time comes and Untouchable is actually ready, I may have decided just to self-publish it. It almost seems better that way. No rejections... only ego boost bonuses whenever someone unexpectedly buys my book. And you really have to be a major thing to make it big with a publisher... like "they make movies outta my shit" strokes of fortune. And should I achieve any success with that, sequels would be forthcoming, and perhaps I would have better luck then.

For the time being, I am writing my romance, which I will admit now is likely cheesy and predictable, but I love my ridiculous bastard of a love interest, so what can I do? They really love to fight and make up, so maybe Harlequin will pick it up. It isn't likely to make me lots of money (and certainly won't garner a screenplay), but I'd really love to have that sort of credit under my belt. Being able to say, "Oh yes, I've been published by someone you've heard of" sounds pretty wicked to me. Just sayin'.

I'll leave you now with a tiny bit of flash fiction. It is neither contest winning nor publicly recognized in any forum, but I kinda like it. (If I've already showed this to you, I'm sorry. I'm at a lack for something new. Which reminds me... Who here hasn't read the first few pages of my romance and/or would like to?)

Until next time... Stay thirsty, my friends.

~Lex

A Blog About Nothing

Hello, friends!

Due to the unprecedented success of my first blog post (five followers -- that's two more than predicted!), I have decided to post again, so as not to let it get lonely. I wasn't going to post again so soon. In fact, I had a long chat with myself about the whole thing.

"Self," I said. "Why do you want to bother these people? They're your friends, and they're just trying to support you; why would you take advantage of their kindness by flooding their inboxes with your inane drivel?" (And yes, I do speak to myself as though I were an intellectual, even though I know better.)

Before I could rebut, I found myself continuing. "And another thing, if you post twice in one week, they might expect this pace to continue. They probably don't have the time and energy to read so much, and you definitely don't have it to write. Suppose you did -- what would you say? You don't really have that much to say in general, and certainly not about writing."

I continued to berate myself until I told myself to shove it because it's my party and I'll post if I want to! It seems to me that having a single blog post is just a bit ridiculous, and as you all are already my friends (and you are, just so you know. Whether I've met you or not, and this is not a distinction I take lightly), I felt that a personal update wouldn't be too much of an imposition. (Is anyone else finding my sudden interest in big words unsettling?)

Anyway, in case you were wondering, I was thinking about posting once per week. Saturdays, if possible. I'll try to keep it as art-centric as possible: Post snippets, previews, updates, rants about grammar, etc. If/when I ever find myself in the company of strangers, apart from throwing a party, I'll try to come up with a few more fun things we can do. Contests, guest posts from my online writer friends... blah blah blah.

Sigh. I find myself wanting to tell you everything all at once. What happened to Untouchable, what I'm currently writing, future plans for publishing, future plans for life, current happenings of me (other than sitting up in my bed). Where I'm moving, why, and with whom (and I'd love to ask your advice about how). I want to tell you about my job and my living situation and the serial killer idea I have that nobody likes (mostly because I can never explain it right). But then, as I asked myself before, what would I talk about in future blog posts if I dumped an entire novel on you now? Silly Rabbit, indeed.

So, I ask you, my friends what would you like to see on this blog? Any burning questions amongst the aforementioned topics or others? How often would you expect me to post? Does once per week seem slow to you, or do you think that's the most you'd have time for? How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? And who the hell named it a woodchuck in the first place? (Did you just get a mental flash of that commercial, cause I totally did.)

Looking forward to hearing from you,

Lex


P.S. What do you think of this format? Is the text too small? Is having the white box too glaring or cheesy looking? Inquiring minds want to know.

Icebreaker

When I was five, I had a favorite tape. It was a VHS of Care Bears Movie 2 (feat. the Care Bear Cousins) and Little Shop of Horrors (the Rick Moranis version). I watched it every day. If you ask my friends--which you undoubtedly will not--this probably explains a lot about my personality. On one hand, a musical featuring rainbows and altruistic optimism. On the other hand, a musical/dark comedy about a man-eating plant and hopeless nerd you can't help but fall in love with.

Okay, maybe that last one was just me.

I was also quite fond of Wayne's World, The Lost Boys, and The Little Mermaid.

Why am I telling you this? Because as a first-time blogger, I feel it important that you know a little something about me. So you know what you're getting into. As an aspiring writer, however, I know that the opening page... no, the opening paragraph is key. So starting off by saying, "Hi! My name is Alexis, and I want to be your friend." just didn't sit right with me.

So while I've got your attention (Or do I? dun! DUN! DUN!), let me do the boring part. My name is Alexis (25/F/Pisces), and I would love to be your friend. In the case that this just isn't in the cards (as it so often is not) I would settle for you just listening to what I have to say and commenting on it.

Why should I, you ask? Well, let me tell you.

As previously mentioned, I am an aspiring writer. I have completed exactly one (as yet unpublished) novel, which I will tell you more about later (including the reasons it is "as yet unpublished"). I am also in the process of the first draft of a romance novel that is currently featured in the third round of webook.com 's PageToFame contest. More on that later as well.

I have also written several drabbles and random nonsenses, largely based on my dreams. And as you may or may not have inferred from my choice of childhood favorites, my dreams can get a little interesting.

I would like to share my drabbles, rants, and even sneak peeks of my novels with you. In so doing I hope to both increase my fan base (read: find someone other than my three online friends who like what I do) and improve my skills both as a writer and communicator through feedback on this blog.

Thank you for your time, and I sincerely hope we see more of each other in the future!

Love (no matter what I might say),

~Lex

P.S. If you are a reader of Twilight fan fiction, you may have read my fic "Slumbering Swan" or it's prequel "Becoming Alice" (If you have not and would like to do so, search these titles under the username lmhsfan on either FFN or TWCS).