Social Experiments

*This blog is for my fellow women, though many men will likely appreciate it. I am in no way trying to stomp on women's rights, or say we don't have a lot of work ahead of us (See my previous post regarding my disgust with rape culture, something real and perpetuating). I'm just saying, "Now, let's be fair."*

Before I go to bed, I have a thought. About all these baiting "feminist social experiment" videos. There are two on my feed right now. And some of you might even share them and say, "Oh, how appalling!" But I offer a dissenting opinion on behalf of all humans who don't like to be stereotyped negatively by their genders as these videos are doing by trying to "prove" it's already being done. By making small problems (or non-problems) with the nature of man into huge issues, they are perpetuating the idea that the nature of woman is to be irrational, hypocritical, and unrealistic.

One video is "Woman goes on dates in fat suit to prove how shallow men are." Now, I am both a (sometimes insecure) fat woman and a proud user of gender generalities (Women are crazy. Men are stupid.), but this video wasn't a fat woman on Tinder (which would have been a valid "experiment". What do men say to fat women? Do they make dates with them? Do they show up? Are they earnest? If they are is it just because they have a fetish, which is far different from attraction, FYI.). No, this was a video where a super-hot model lady made dates with men on Tinder with a profile full of pictures of the real her. All smiley and ripped in bikinis and such. Then the guy showed up and she was wearing a fat suit that made her body an unnaturally proportioned size of mine, and her face transmogrified. Yeah, if a guy shows up expecting a model and sees that, he would be taken aback. I would be taken aback. Wouldn't you say something slightly rude or a ditch a date that posted a picture of Channing Tatum and Jack Black showed up? There's nothing wrong with Jack Black, but maybe he's not your type. Or maybe you're not really all that picky, and would have gone out with him--had he been honest. Or maybe you were really just stoked to have dinner with Channing Tatum, and were disappointed he wasn't there. I don't blame the guys who walked away. In fact, I think the one guy who stuck around is either just INCREDIBLY open-minded or a date rapist/serial killer, because there's no way we would let a man that fucking sweet still be single. He'd either be married or ruined by a harpy by now. EDIT: I forgot to mention my favorite part of the video. When the two men (MEN!) who produced the video were introducing the concept, a montage of preparation went by, and the woman was rubbing the belly on her fat suit making over-exaggerated "sexy faces", effectively mocking the belly and telling us she finds it repulsive as well. Just a fun fact.

The other video was "Woman wears camera on her bra to see how many men look at her cleavage." I'll get straight to the point on this one (and I'm speaking only about choosing to wear revealing clothing, as the woman was in the video. If they're just big, I feel you, and I'm sorry.): If it's hanging out there, someone's gonna look at it.  A guy is a creep if he tries to look up or down or through anything, but if it's seeing the sun, it's fair game. Does it give him a right to touch you? Approach you? Catcall? Stare at you so long you think he has x-ray specs or otherwise disrespect you any way? No. Absolutely not. But if your boobs are in his face, he's going to look at them. If I wear a low-cut shirt, I expect my chest to be glanced at. Sometimes, that's even what I want to happen (ego boost for me!). And I have been caught looking at a woman's chest before, and I'm so straight I'm almost narrow. The cleavage was... ridiculous... and she was wearing a giant gold necklace on top. My eyes struggled valiantly, but ultimately had no place else to go. Wear whatever makes you comfortable, happy, etc. But you can hardly be upset with someone for looking at art that's on display. If you don't want anyone to see it, keep it covered or put away. And double-bitch on you if you stick them out for a guy you're attracted to and tell another he's a pig. And then see above.

The last one I saw the other day, it was meant to be empowering. It was basically a "fuck you" to the idea that humility is beautiful. Now, I'm not saying it has NEVER been the case, and that no man is of the opinion that a woman should be mild-mannered and modest. But what I am saying is, that CAN be attractive. Men play that game all the time. Super hot guys who know they're hot but pretend not to, and we let them because we want to believe they're that sweet. Or some super nerdy guys who actually don't realize how beautiful they are. (That shy shit gets ME every time, even if I know it's an act. Case in point: The Australian) Have you ever read/watched a romance? Unassuming men are a genre. Why wouldn't it be attractive when a woman does it? And why is it chauvinistic if a man expresses that attraction? The woman in the video cited songs, etc that I found, and still find, nothing wrong with. Other than the fact the one was by One Direction. Shh.. boy bands died after *NSYNC... Is it chauvinistic to say that's how women SHOULD be or else they're undesirable bitches? Yes. Of course. Not all women are like that. Be strong. Be confident. Know that you are beautiful. If that's you. Don't tell me what I have to be and that no one should find it attractive. You want to say, "Don't look down on me for being confident." But how many guys  do you know that are so "confident" it's unattractive. Be it cockiness or overcompensation, there is such a thing as going too far. As a human being.

And I'm not speaking anyone but myself personally when I say this: I understand we have it worse, and I understand there are skewed perceptions against us women, and it does happen to us all the time, but just because you're a feminist doesn't mean you're NOT being a bitch. The world isn't always out to belittle you. Sometimes you are over the top. What you might call confident, I would call cocky. What you might call strong, I would call being a dick. (p.s. why am I allowed to use that word as an insult in any number of ways, but all mention of feminine genitalia is so offensive it ends in "-word"?) Any human can be a dick in my eyes. I work in customer service and when someone comes up to me and is demanding, I think they are demanding (and use gender-appropriate insults in my mind). For me, personally, there is never a time a man is an asshole to me and I think, "Wow, what a strong leader." And I'm not going to think it about a woman just because she is a woman. You're being an asshole. Get away from me. In fact, I have become sexist because so many business women are out to prove that they CAN and SHOULD be strong and SHOULDN'T be soft, that they have lost all empathy. If you were a man, I would still think you were a bitch.

In conclusion, it is my humble opinion that if you want to abolish gender inequality and stereotypes, stop perpetuating them. Fight the good fight, but practice what you preach. If you want there to be human equality, live it.